This week’s blog is about how to manage and soothe your worried mind.
A lot of my clients, friends and family not only say they wake up anxious, but they go to bed anxious too.
I’ve been there too.
There is a lot of stuff happening in the world. Yes. That’s true.
And I’ll say to you ... please know that you are not responsible for ALL of that.
You can't fix the whole wide world.
But you can fix YOUR personal world.
Take a breath ... it's easier than you think.
In this expanded time of television and internet connection we are being presented with a lot more choices.
And it means that we need to choose what serves us rather than allowing whatever comes up to be our reality.
What I’m saying is ... once upon a time when we lived in small tribes the issues of our family and community were our only concern.
We literally didn’t get information about other communities or counties.
It wasn’t even slightly in our zone of attention.
So, if you are feeling anxious ... even a low level of unidentifiable anxiety ... you are probably in need of these 3 tips today.
Before we even start ... I want to say that we need to minimise phone, tv and computer use.
I will put my hand up and say ... including me. (as I write this blog on my iPhone. 😁)
A quick scroll through your Facebook before bed (or when you wake up) is actually going to amp-up your anxiety significantly.
Even if you have culled your friends, so you ONLY see positive posts and ‘the good news network’ group - stop it!!
I’m serious! Stop 🛑
Take your time and power back.
My 3 top anxiety reducing tips!
3. Local focus rather than international
1. So, sleep ... most of us are terrible with our sleep routine.
Different time to bed. Different time to rise. Lights or phones nearby. Noisy environment.
Consider changing one of this list of things to improve your sleep and you’ll notice a difference:
- intend to go to bed and get up at the same time each day.
- dark room (maybe with a very gentle night light).
- no tv or phone one hour before bed.
- eye mask (if you’re very sensitive).
- write our your worries from the day onto a piece of paper - get them out of your body and mind (you can then burn or flush or throw them in the bin) symbolic letting go really works.
- write a gratitude list in a journal (5-10 things) that lit you up today. Keep this and read it often.
- pray to your guardian angels (or God or Buddha or the Universe) to take care of everything that’s not in your control. And to guide you to take care of things that are - i.e. your mind, body and emotions.
- the final step is use music, nature sounds, a meditation or you could use the Calm app ‘bedtime stories’
** I just discovered that Matthew McConaghy (my celebrity crush) reads a bedtime story called ‘Wonder’ in the Calm app. His soothing Texan accent was amazing. The story was nice too. Last night I slept better than I have in weeks!!!! Check it out.
2. Ahhh Nature ... I remember when I’ve lived in cities around the world - when I made the effort to go out at lunch time or after work to walk in the park or beach or the tree near the cafe, I felt A LOT less anxious than when I didn’t.
Nature grounds us.
Nature reconnects is to ourselves.
Nature allows us to breathe better.
Nature reminds us where we fit.
Nature is alive.
Nature has a rhythm of balance.
10 minutes of nature each day will help.
You can do this.
3. Local vs international focus.
It’s very easy to be drawn into the drama of the wider world.
Be mindful and aware of how you feel after you watch the news or any video or show.
Are you feeling agitated? Angry? Frustrated? Worried? Hopeless?
For me these are CLEAR signs that I’m are taking on something that’s not my responsibility.
I’ve talked about the news before.
And mostly I avoid watching or reading the news.
However, even if I completely avoid it I still feel a low level of anxiety... picking up other people’s concerns and stress.
So, sometimes I will watch or read particular stories - but only when my energy is high and I feel strong.
And, I have learnt to take care of myself MORE when I start to feel anxious.
I don’t numb myself with alcohol or drugs anymore.
And I don’t want to stay in the lower vibe state or ignore it anymore.
I meditate, walk, ride, dance, sing, do a yoga class, nap, read, listen to hay house radio ... anything that I know will raise my spirits.
And if my first choice doesn’t quite shift me, I keep doing more things until I feel better.
Robert Holden says ‘anxiety is a call to love yourself even more’.
What are you going to choose from the list to do this week?
If you like, you can let me know by commenting on this blog or replying to my email: firstname.lastname@example.org
This week’s blog is about love ...
*Note - may be a bit confronting for some readers.
I just finished reading an awesome book by Scarlett Lewis. It’s called Nurturing. Healing. Love.
Its about her journey of forgiveness and healing, after her son Jesse died in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012.
I’ve never had a deep tragedy like this happen to my family, so I found it really moving and inspiring to read about how she came to a deep understanding and forgiveness of the man who killed her son. How did she do that?
And it got me thinking about the number of opportunities that we are given (daily) to forgive ...
Opportunities to let go ... to heal ... to love ... and to raise our lives to a higher level ...
And these daily loving opportunities to forgive are not as intense as Scarlett’s (well, I hope not anyway).
Sometimes it’s others we could forgive ... and sometimes it's ourselves.
Do we take these opportunities?
Mostly we don’t.
I believe we don't because of a few reasons ...
- wanting to avoid discomfort
- wanting to be right
- wanting to feel free
All are totally valid choices.
You don’t HAVE to do anything.
You always have the option to choose.
#1 - Ahhh avoiding discomfort ...
No one really likes being uncomfortable ... well except maybe Tom Gleeson (and other comediams) who's stories seem to revolve around it.
We're naturally inclined to move away from painful situations.
So it takes practice to sit with a discomfort or pain (yours or another’s).
It takes practice to hold space and then address a discomfort. Not judge it.
Just to observe it and send love to it.
For me it's easier to do that when I’m feeling loved and being loving to myself.
And doesn’t that make sense?
Your ability to be loving to others comes from loving yourself.
So, step one is - love yourself through the discomfort.
#2 - Hmmm what about being right ...
Everyone likes to be right.
I know I do. Don’t you?
If I’m right then I feel better about myself.
But ... because I know that it doesn’t serve the harmony of my relationships, if I’m always trying to win - it’s a hollow victory
Someone once said ‘do you want to be happy or right?’
You may be thinking (like me) "I thought I WAS happy when I'm right."
Bring right is about one person being better than everyone else.
But over the years I’ve learnt that being happy is about everyone feeling accepted and honoured, including me.
Equally. Now that is balanced.
So, step two is - look for the happy option rather than the winning option.
#3 - And finally that need to feel free ...
I really get it. Freedom is one of my top 10 values. It’s guided most of my life decisions.
Travelling the world with no permanent home wouldn’t work if you had a high value of security.
Most people say they want to be free to make their own decisions.
Free to hold onto the past.
Free to say what they want.
Free to keep things the same.
What if I slightly adjust this value?
Why not add the freedom to love.
The freedom to forgive.
The freedom to heal.
The freedom to grow.
Then you are still honouring the value of freedom but serving yourself and others too.
So, step three is - adding to your value of freedom the choices of love, healing and growth.
Scarlett Lewis says that when she realised that the man who went into that school was mentally unstable and needed help, she felt compassion. Then she could come to a place of forgiveness because he knew not what he was doing.
He was 'out of his mind' and completely out of balance.
And we've all been there - maybe not to the degree of that young man in Sandy Hook, Newtown, but we can learn something important from this.
We've ALL been completely out of balance.
We've ALL felt disconnected.
We've ALL been in a situation where we could have called out for help but didn't.
We've ALL felt lost and alone.
So, I encourage you to see where you can forgive, love, and grow just a little bit more in your life this week.
Blessings Pip x
Reference: Nurturing. Healing. Love - A Mother's Journey of Hope and Forgiveness - by Scarlett Lewis
This week’s blog is about self reflection.
Last night I was watching Kitty Flanagan do her stand up show and she told a joke about crazy neigbours.
She said there is always one crazy person in the neighbourhood right?
And if you say ‘No, we don’t have any crazy neighbours’ ... then the person is you. 😁
It’s an old joke.
But it got me thinking.
This week in my life there has been discussions in my family about ‘toxic’ behaviour.
Toxic ... it’s a strong word.
It activates most people.
No one wants to be referred to, or thought, of as toxic.
However, after I soothed and calmed my inner child’s hurt feelings.
I took a good look at myself.
I believe three (3) key things ...
1. Self reflection is essential to growth.
2. Separating the behaviour from the person helps us to understand.
3. The words we choose to describe a situation in our lives will affect how we move forward.
Am I a toxic person? No
Have I behaved in a toxic way? Yes probably
The truth is I’ve been judgmental, critical, rude, ignorant, gossipy, mean, exclusionary and lots more ...
I’m not perfect.
I’m a human being on a spiritual journey.
And anyone who says they are perfect is not being completely honest with themselves.
So ... why might I have behaved in a toxic way?
Fear, hurt, anger, confusion ...
There are many reasons why I might behave in a ‘less than zen’ way.
I certainly don’t do it from a conscious and mindful place.
Does that make me a bad person? No
Can I learn something from this? Yes definitely
I've learned that the words I use to describe myself or the situation are key to my healing and dissolving issues.
If I use words like 'toxic', 'bitchy', or even 'dysfunctional' ... there is a lot of negative weight in those words.
No wonder I don't want to be referred to or connected to them.
However, if I use 'unbalanced', 'disconnected', or 'unaware' ... there is a self-compassion and understanding behind them.
This makes it easier for me to address the behaviour and be more willing to forgive it and let go.
Which brings me to my next self-reflective questions.
Am I willing to forgive myself for my behaviour?
And ... once you’ve done step one, you can move onto ...
Am I willing to forgive others for their behaviour?
And here's the thing ... I've realised that I HAVE to do the self-reflection and self-forgiveness part to heal and move forward.
If I only point fingers out at others’ behaviour, I’m not considering something vital.
The only constant element in all my interactions is ME.
So as I consider, reflect and soothe myself about my family interactions this week, I’ll be spending the MOST time on me.
No one is responsible for my happiness or pain. That’s up to me.
I feel more empowered, peaceful and happy when I remind myself of this deep truth.
I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to or if you need some suggestions for self care options.
You are not alone.
**Note - If you’d like a very loving gentle way to release emotions, pain and issues that are not serving you ...
Jana and I are doing our monthly Full Moon Sound Healing and Meditation on Wednesday night @7.30pm (17/7) at my Cape Woolamai studio. Go to the store page for details and payment options.
Blessings Pip x
This week’s blog is about the difference between your job and your work.
This morning I was listening to an Oprah Super Soul Conversation podcast.
She had Wes Moore on the show and he asked a powerful question: “After years working at the same job, have you ever realized you've just been going through the motions for as long as you can remember?”
I have SO many people who come to me as clients and students with this concern.
It could be your job, or your relationship, or your whole life that’s on auto-pilot.
Wes says there is a big difference between your 'work' and your 'job'.
And I really resonate with that.
Although I use the word 'passion' instead of 'work'.
He gave these examples:
Derek, a Barber in a rough area of New York, who gets kids to bring in a book to read and he does their hair cut for free. His job is a barber. His work is about education.
And Maryann, a make up artist, who does workshops for cancer survivors. Her job is Makeup artist. Her work helps women feel beautiful who’ve been through a trauma..
This is exactly what my friend Lili and I were discussing last week.
Lili is a retail shop assistant who says she always has women coming in to her dress shop that need counselling. Her job is a retail assistant. But her work is lovingly supporting these women to feel nurtured and supported.
You might be noticing the same thing in your life.
The thing that keeps me moving forward in my life is the deep knowing of my ‘why’.
If you don’t have that ... everything can become very surface level, robotic and unfulfilling.
While I was writing my book I was asked by my publisher to identify why I was doing it.
It will help you stay focused, ignore the nay-sayers and be more successful - he said.
That same week my business coach asked me to read the book ‘Start with why’ by Simon Sinek to get clear on the reason I’m in business.
It will help you stay focused, ignore the nay-sayers and be more successful - she said.
True!! Ha ha! Synchronicity - I just love it!
My book is about the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual adventures I had while living on cruise ships for six years ... these were vital steps in my journey to discover my authentic self.
My business is focused on supporting women to discover and express their authentic self more fully ... by using Reiki energy healing, Angels, Meditation, and Psychology.
Aha! I’ve got it!
My why is ... I’m here to teach people to accept themselves as equally unique Souls. By accepting myself fully, I’m modelling and supporting self-acceptance for others.
So this week I’m asking you to explore what might be YOUR why.
What drives you? What are you passionate about? Who do you feel drawn to serve, help or support?
You have something to contribute to the world. Everyone does. Find out what it is and your life will shift to a more fulfilling place.
Your Soul will deeply thank you.
If you need help with this process, please feel free to call me.
Private coaching packages start from $120 ...
Blessings Pip x
p.s. Wes Moore is a New York Times best-selling author, Rhodes scholar and decorated U.S. Army veteran. He used to be a Wall Street banker but he walked away from financial success to create a more meaningful life. Books: 'The Other' and 'The Work'.
This week’s blog is about editing yourself ...
I’m currently reading my book manuscript out loud ... and doing final edits, before it goes to formatting. Yay!
In the process of reading, I’ve noticed myself thinking ‘oh that's too sexy’ or ‘oh no that’s boring’ or ‘oh that’s kinda cheesey.’ .... and the loudest thought has been 'what will they think?' ...
*Thank you self doubt and judgement.
And although it is important to remind myself (and you) to more loving and less critical, that’s not what I want to share with you today.
I want to tell you about the bits I was starting to delete.
I was editing a story about a surprising hook-up with one of my good friends.
He’d offered to help me make my ex-boyfriend jealous.
We’d spent the evening ‘pretending’ to flirt and ... as the night went on we completely forgot that we were pretending.
And ... when we got back to my cabin at the end of the night the sexual tension had naturally built up.
The intensity of the feelings surprised us both.
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
We just went with it. It was totally in the moment.
And it was awesome!!!
I had originally written ALL of the details of how I remembered that very hot encounter.
Yesterday I was editing it away.
I was editing away one of the key events in my cruise ship life.
I was editing away one of the most liberating things I’d ever done.
Luckily, I had a conversation with my sister last night and I told her what I was doing.
And she said ‘No! No! NO!’
She reminded me that the whole theme of my time on ships was the freedom and liberation that I experienced - mentally, emotionally, physically and later spiritually.
“If you edit out the sexy bits you’ll lose a key part of the authenticity of the story. Besides you KNOW that’s the bit everyone loves to read in a book ...” she said wisely.
And she was right.
So, last night ... until 1.30am ... I put the sexy bits back in ... so, my friends ... be ready.
Working on board ships was key to building my confidence and shifted my life in a whole new direction.
I’m really excited to share my honest experiences with you.
And, my invitation to you this week is to consider where you’re editing yourself ... and why?
I say embrace and share your completely sexy, funny, wise, crazy, magical, passionate, weird, sensitive, loving, powerful, and totally authentic self.
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