This week's blog is about worthiness ...
I have just started reading a book called 'Worthy' by Nancy Levin. She is a fantastic transformational life coach.
This book is about how to your beliefs about your self-worth and your financial net worth are linked.
So, as I started reading this book yesterday ... the AHA moments are coming thick and fast ...
I have often wondered why some people are always 'just surviving' pay check to pay check and others thrive with lots of surplus to spare.
Now, I understand the concepts of the law of attraction (you attract to you what you mostly focus on), but I had never really thought about the possibility that there was a difference in those people's perception of their self-worth.
Nancy says "When we feel that we aren't enough, or that we aren't good enough, we also fear that we'll never have enough. That fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy, in which we unconsciously never, ever have all that we need. It's a painful arithmetic going on in the shadows of our unconscious, which many of us never even recognize. We have to get to the root of the problem, and that means replacing those feelings of unworthiness with a strong sense of self-worth." (Introduction - page xxvi)
Interesting how a book or teacher comes into your life just when you need them, huh?
I would not describe myself as someone who feels 'unworthy', but I am starting to see that I have limited my financial success with my beliefs around how much I am 'allowed' to earn before my family and friends will not like me anymore. Wow! Yep ... Okay.
I have realised that I have a belief that being rich means you are dodgy. Basically, that rich people are not people you can trust.
And I don't want to become one of those people.
So, I have been subconsciously capping my financial success.
Even though, I know I would not actually do anything dodgy to create my success, I have believed that people would still see me that way.
And that is enough to stop me from taking action.
Do you have any similar beliefs?
It may be time to take a look at this for yourself.
I am here if you want to share your revelations.
p.s. You might like to try the exercise below from the book ... to uncover more about your beliefs:
Part 1: This is a meditation, so you'll want to close your eyes rather than read as you go. You can go to www.nancylevin.com - where she has posted an audio recording of this meditation - and she can guide you through it.
1. Take several breaths before beginning. Relax each part of your body, starting with your feet, then move up to your legs, hips, belly, chest, back, arms, neck and head ... until you feel full relaxed.
2. When you are ready, with your eyes closed ask yourself this question: "What's the loudest message I'm receiving now about money?"
Then listen for the message. When you hear it, let yourself remember when you first heard that message. Do you know whose voice gave you that message? Was it a parent?
3. Then take another deep breath. Drop down into an even deeper state of relaxation. Ask yourself: "What is my first memory about money?" Allow any pictures to come to you. Maybe it's the first time you understood there was a thing called money.
4. Now, take another deep breath. Drop even deeper into a relaxed state. Ask to remember a scene in which your parents dealt with money in some way. How did they handle it?
5. Then, open your eyes and take notes about what you heard and saw. Write down your loudest message about money and what you remembered about your first money memory.
6. Write down what you saw in the scene with your parents. How did they deal with money? What did they say about it?
7. Read what you wrote from this experience. What beliefs do you think you developed as a result of what you remembered? Write them down, even if you aren't sure about them.
eg. a belief might be: 'rich people are dodgy' or 'money is hard to make' or 'there is never enough'
Part 2: Now ask yourself the following questions to uncover some more money beliefs:
1. Did your mother or father overspend ... or penny-pinch? Think about what this taught you about money.
2. If your parents fought about money what specifically did they fight about? If they didn't talk about money, how did that impact you?
3. Did your parents complain or worry about money a lot? What kinds of things did they say to express their financial worries?
4. Where did your family shop and go out to eat? What do these places say about your parent's beliefs about money?
5. Were you given an allowance? Was anything said about how you were supposed to spend it or save it?
6. Did your parents ever make you feel guilty about the amount of money you cost them?
7. Did your parents ever complain about school expenses or items you asked them for?
8. If you planned to go to college / University, was it a source of stress for you and your parents from a financial perspective? Did your parents have a college / University fund for you? Were they afraid there wouldn't be enough money to send you to college / University? Could you not go to college / University because your family could not afford it?
Go back and read your answers to these questions.
Make a list of the beliefs you think you developed as a result of these experiences, habits and patterns within your family.
** If you feel these questions have triggered in you emotions of discomfort or a desire to learn more ... check out Nancy Levin's website or her books: 'Worthy' and 'Jump and your life will appear'. www.nancylevin.com
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